Wondering what to bring to a funeral to show respect and support? Attending a funeral can be challenging, and knowing What to take to a funeral can help you feel more prepared. From thoughtful cards to small tokens of sympathy, the right items can convey your care and compassion. Learn all about What to Bring To A Funeral and What Not To Bring. Let’s start:
What are you supposed to bring to a funeral?
While not required, it is customary to bring things like gifts to a funeral or memorial service. The items that you can bring to the person are either things that remind you of the person (such as a card or flowers showing intention to sympathize with the family) or things that can be of help with the family during times like this bringing money or meals. Of course, if you are a close relative, you might be the one who would be responsible for the items such as the picture of the individual or the guestbook.
For the other visitors who are just coming for the service, one may be wondering what to carry to the funeral. Especially when people in the present day are arranging some virtual wake keeping for their dead relatives, this may raise even more queries as to what kind of a gift is appropriate to offer at this time. If you do decide to bring something, you can keep on reading below and learn more about What to take to a funeral and what gifts are appropriate when attending this sad event.
So, What to take to a funeral Reception or Memorial Service?
Thus, though you may have been to other funerals before, you may have probably found yourself asking – What do you take with you to a funeral? Every family might have different demands, spiritual concerns, or cultures that dictate what they may expect from a guest or what might be expected out of them. Therefore, let me give you a list of some ideas of What to take to a funeral:
What flowers to take to a funeral?
There is always confusion about what kind of flower to take when attending a funeral. Still, flowers are one of the most used gifts that people will bring to funerals or any memorial services, so if you are unsure What is an appropriate gift for a funeral? Moreover, now there are so many beautiful things that can be done with funeral flowers after the funeral is over and, therefore, it is not something that will be discarded right away.
The simplistic and timeless beauty of flowers shows your sympathy and emotion during this tough time, making them a great symbol of your condolences.
Even still, there are some general rules about what types of flowers are respectful to bring in remembrance of someone. Modest arrangements in subdued or pastel tones are best, as you don’t want to draw too much attention to your gift that takes away from the service itself. Lilies, carnations, and roses are all traditional sympathy flowers, so make sure to request these from your florist with enough time to bring them to the family before the service.
Other Ideas (Instead of Flowers)
If you do not feel comfortable with the choice of the flower to take to a funeral, then it is good to be informed that there are so many other things that you can take or do to honor the deceased. There are many other ways to pay tribute to the deceased, but to be on the safe side one should listen to the families as they try to meet their needs during these times.
Oftentimes on the funeral announcement, you will notice a request “instead of flowers” like to make a charitable donation, funds to cover the funeral service, or several other requests directly made by the family.
Should I Bring a Sympathy Card to a Funeral Reception?
Sympathy cards would be helpful so that you could write what you wanted to say and it could be read by the family at a later date which is more convenient for them. The service is such that everyone is on an emotional level and perhaps they may not have the time or energy to exchange words with each guest and listen to their sincere words. Having a sympathy card is one of the simplest things since it allows the family to know how much the deceased was loved and how much support will still be received even after the funeral.
What About Photos? Framed vs Scrapbook vs Flash Drive
While not one of the more common things to bring to a funeral service, families may appreciate it if you have unseen photos of the person they can see.
If you have one special photo, it could be meaningful to find a nice frame to bring and display at the service if requested.
If you have many photos, you might devote some time to creating a scrapbook that one can glance through at the service and in the years to come.
Remember that if you have some photos you would like to have just for you, then it is better to make copies of these photos before giving them to several family members. Or perhaps the photos can be saved in a flash drive so they can retrieve them if they need to upload them later.
Food & Drink
Taking food to the funeral might be appropriate in almost all cultures; however, it is wise to check with the event’s coordinators to see the plans for the meals. It can be great if you come with a dish not necessarily to the funeral but to the home of the mourning family during the days leading up to the funeral or immediately following it can be a helpful act as it takes one thing off their plate during a sad time.
Taking a meal to the family helps to ease the burden that they have. Further, serve the food in disposable containers; this way, they do not have to worry about returning this Tupperware or those serving dishes to the respective individuals. If you are not sure what food to bring? Consider foods that could be easily divisible among many people, for instance, casserole dishes or baked goods.
Charity Donations
Instead of cards and flowers, one common alternative is for the family to request donations to a charity of their choice – usually one that is meaningful to the person who has passed. This can be a very thoughtful way of honoring someone, and while huge donations will not be expected, it’s important to remember to bring cash as digital payments may not be possible.
What to Bring to a Funeral Based on Specific Religious & Traditions?
Additionally, What to take to a funeral may also depend on the specific familial traditions or religious views of the deceased. This may dictate what you should wear to the service, what color of flowers to bring, what type of food you should prepare, and a number of other things you’ll want to keep in mind based on the views of the individual.
So, consider the family’s requests and the culture of the individual to do your research and know what the appropriate course of action is for what to bring to their service.
What NOT to Bring to a Funeral Service or Reception
When looking at this list of items that What You Shouldn’t Bring to or Do in a Funeral, you may ask yourself what not to bring. This means that, just as there are things that one should not do around a cemetery, there are also things that one should not take to a funeral either. Thus, even in such situations, people know what is allowed and what is more appropriate if not in this context than in a different one.
For example, some cultures don’t view flowers as appropriate gifts for memorial services. Additionally, avoid bringing gifts that are too extravagant or expensive, which can detract from the grieving family and the person you’re memorializing.
Overall, make your presence at the funeral modest and respectful by leaving loud electronics or devices at home, wearing the proper attire based on the culture, and even leaving kids at home if they cannot be quiet and respectful during the service.
At what age should you take children to a funeral?
A child’s age should not dictate whether they attend or not. Chronological age has nothing to do with whether the child should attend a funeral.
The most important first step is to help your child choose whether to attend a funeral. It’s common for older adults who were not given a choice as children to attend a funeral to express resentment later.
Empower children to decide whether they attend a service. The parents and caregivers should encourage the children to go but should never force them to go. The parents and caregivers must respect the child’s right to make the decision, even if it is not the right one made by the adults.
This is also good practice to tell the child, in terms that they will be able to understand, what will happen at the service and then ask the child what they would like to do. Describe what the child might see or hear at the event, they might sing, might see the coffin or the urn, which can happen, and religious rites and ceremonies might be witnessed by the child.
Don’t forget to also explain how people might act, including that grown-ups might be crying.
It is also important to explain what the child will do if they decide not to go. Be mindful to not make the alternative more exciting than the funeral. For example, do not offer a trip to an amusement park instead of a funeral.
Conclusion
As we wrap up What to take to a funeral? Bringing a small, meaningful item to a funeral can show your support and empathy when words aren’t enough. Whether it’s a sympathy card, flowers, or a comforting gift, these gestures remind the grieving family they’re not alone. Isn’t it reassuring to know that even a simple gesture can mean so much?
FAQs
People should not use their phones or talk loudly with others as this will not encourage a culture of respect. Moreover, avoid using relaxed clothes and bright bright colors on your body, this may cause you to stand out because traditional wear mostly uses dull colors.
At a funeral, it’s generally respectful to bring a small token of sympathy. Common items include flowers, a sympathy card, or a donation to a charity in honor of the deceased. You could also bring a prepared dish or food item if you’re close to the family and they’ve requested support with meals.
Appropriate gifts for a funeral include sympathy flowers, a memorial donation, a card, or a sympathy basket. If you’re close to the family, consider a thoughtful item like a personalized remembrance or a comforting book on grief. These gestures can provide comfort and show you care.
Bring essential items like a tissue or handkerchief, a sympathy card if you haven’t already sent one, and, if appropriate, flowers. You may also want to carry a small photo or keepsake if you’re sharing memories during the service.
The average funeral gift can vary, but generally, flowers range from $50 to $100, while donations to charities in the deceased’s name can start at around $25 to $50. The amount can be adjusted based on your relationship with the family and your budget.
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